I became DJ Flame when I started working at a small community-based radio station here in Pasay City. It was called 107.1 HOT FM. It was a franchise network of the Manila Broadcasting Company, the pioneer in Philippine broadcasting. My life there was very exciting, full of unprecedented experiences that I never planned possible for me. However, it wasn’t as glamorous or lucrative as many thought it was. Other than a share of influence as media personalities, at least in the community we were being heard, the challenges of keeping ourselves on-air was more than anybody could handle. Practically without enough financial resources, we have to sell timeslots and advertisements to earn. Since we were restricted by law to broadcast on a wider range than what was allowed us, our market was limited. Moreover, we are not competitive enough against radio networks which are technically superior and have sophisticated broadcasting facilities.
But whatever lack we had was compensated by people who are willing to help us in any way they can; people who came from all walks of life. I have never encountered so much diversity in people as when I was there.
The employment hopelessness in this country has driven a few among the population to work as volunteers for any task or sell commodities without regular pay; mostly do sales to earn on a commission basis. So, we had volunteers to work for us as sales agents called Account Executive. Aside from the chic title, the basic fact remains that they only earn if they sell ads.
Outstanding among them is Bob. Maybe because he was the most senior in age among the lot of agents, he was the most driven. But, it was certain that it was his being a family man that made him work hard more than anybody. As Marketing Manager, I appointed him to lead the younger and carefree agents who were there just for the experience and thrill of being part of a radio station.
Contrary to the notion that to be an effective sales agent one has to be very sociable and overwhelmingly aggressive, Bob was more quite-type but not timid. He was sociable enough yet his presence was unobtrusive. There was a mild authority in him enough to effectively carry-on as a leader. He was much respected by all. In the midst of intrigues (believe me there was a lot!) and politics within the organization, he was never embroiled in any of it; except maybe for one person I remembered who was jealous of his position but he didn’t took her seriously. His maturity triumphs over the pettiness and triviality in the station.
We could learn so much about a person from his resume and bio-data, granted how truthful the information stated there. Perusing over Bob’s record, I could tell he was a hard working person. He had worked as a courier/messenger, office clerk, utility man, factory worker, production supervisor, reflexologist/ masseur even as a cake maker/ baker. He had a vocational education in Communication Technology however, just like most vocational graduates in this country, job opportunity is nil or gets to be underemployed which is better than no job at all.
Bob belongs to an uncommon religion, as distinct from the major religious groups in this country such as Christianity, Islam, Iglesia ni Cristo (Church of Christ) or Jehovah’s Witnesses. He belongs to a group called Essenes which I recalled was a Jewish cult in the Holy Land during the time of Christ. However, I had this impression that it was just a local cult here founded by someone who may have adopted the name and form but had nothing to do with the ancient religion. But whatever notion I had about his religious affiliation was not important. Rather, it was our respect for each others’ person.
Aside from our professional relationship at work, I was personally drawn to Bob due to my interest in religion and spirituality. Later on, he told me he was impressed by my interest and that he seldom meets people of such interest. Despite the disparity in our faiths, I being a Roman Catholic, there was a mutual respect for each others belief. I never remember any incident of argument or dissenting point of view that may have created animosity between us. In fact, not a few times, I requested him to lead us in prayer before a meeting or say grace before meal. He was reluctant at first because, according to him, they have a different way of praying. Nonetheless, I assured him that it was alright to pray differently; that it was the spirit of prayer that counts. I found out that there was nothing too unusual in his way of praying, aside from the little awkward raising of one elbow with two or three fingers flexed as if in benediction (just like a priest), I saw nothing different. Even the words are the same except they don’t end with “in Jesus’ Name” or “through Christ our Lord.”
Bob was inspiring in his dedication and commitment to a task. He was present whenever he is needed. He never contradicted me not because I was his superior but because he trusted me. Afterall, he was not obliged to follow since he wasn’t a regularly paid employee. He was a volunteer. There was a time he waited for hours outside the door of my one-room apartment as I was still asleep. Not wanting to disturb me, he just stayed there for ‘God-knows-how-long’ until I woke up and discovered him as I opened my door. Everytime he comes to my place, I was more than willing to entertain and make him stay for mealtimes knowing it was the least I can do to make up for his extraordinary efforts.
Despite his poverty, Bob was never demanding of anything. But of course, the good-natured owner of the station, Mr. Hilario Trestiza (nicknamed Ayong), never failed to extend any help to him voluntarily. Most of the time, it was hard for him to go to the station because he haven’t got enough for travel fare. Oftentimes, he has to borrow extra cash from neighbors just to do that. As our broadcasting operations slowly deteriorated, I felt some pangs of guilt whenever he was in the station just sitting there without substantial task to do. Yet just like me he stayed on, not leaving Ayong who has become a good friend to us.
When almost everyone has given up on our fight to keep HOT FM on air, Bob was with us hopeful and aspiring that the time will come that we will overcome our limitations and succeed in our endeavors. Although not wanting to give up yet, by the middle of 2004, I have sensed the bleakness in the future. So, I told him to move on and get a regular job to support his family. “Don’t wait on us”, I told him. It is unfair for his family to wait for some promise that may never happen. I said to him, “It was nice to dream but we have to wake up and face reality”. Besides, I added, I myself was scouting some other avenues for opportunities. He understood what I meant. From that moment, he slowly ceased to come to the station. He did visit us a few times after. Also, he did send us ‘text’ (SMS) messages to our mobile phones exchanging pleasantries. The last thing I knew about him was that he was working as a laborer in a construction site. Suddenly, I felt sympathy for him. His physical frailty (he was about 167 cm. and 55 kg.) may not endure the rigors of the job in a construction. Yet, I admired him for his courage. Indeed, any man will do anything for the survival of his family.
In the span of almost three years since we first went on-air; beginning with so many people, there was only the four of us who was left to carry-on: me; Onie, our lead broadcaster; Nemet, our technician and of course, Ayong. However, even from a distance, Bob was still with us in some sense. His constantly keeping in touch reassures us that he was still available for anything (except money of course) he could extend to the station. Despite of his offer, I never bothered him for anything since we couldn’t promise him anything yet.
Bob’s sticking it out with us inspite of the personal odds he faced was something beyond words. He has regarded us as his friends. He may have been desperate to have a job yet he stayed on with us until we closed shop. He could have left us much earlier since we, in management, had been truthful about the job they applied for; no compensation unless they sell to earn commission. In fact, the others had left for much lucrative endeavors. I remember the finest DJ who applied with us (we named him DJ Torch), very talented and very professional, did not last long that in just two weeks he quit. He told me upfront with these words, “I have bills to pay and I need to do something that will put food on the table.” That was the last time I heard from that guy.
As the new year 2005 ushered in, we received the news that Bob was in the hospital. I don’t remember the exact ailment that brought him there. However, I recalled the text message from his wife said he was over fatigued. He was about less than a week in the hospital when we learned about it. So, we each shared whatever amount we have and asked Onie, our lead broadcaster, to bring it to Bob’s family.
On January 9, 2005, Bob passed away. He was only 34 years old. It was sudden. He left behind his wife and children who are too young to support themselves. As if it was some twist of fate that it happened on this day; the birthday of Ayong, the owner of our dearest HOT FM. It was as if he tells us that our friendship, no matter how brief, was enduring until death; and that he continues to be with us in our aspiration to make HOT FM a success someday. In fact, his wife told us that even in his dying moments he talked about HOT FM. Up to the last, he cared about us. It had been exactly five years ago, today, but Bob still lingers in our memories.
Indeed, the real beauty of the human relations is in the experience. People come and go in our life. Some affect us more than the others. No matter how briefly, some have this profound impact that makes us learn and grow in wisdom. Truly, to understand our humanity is to experience it among others. We may read all the books on Philosophy and the Social Sciences; or study psychology; or master the different art forms in Humanities yet nothing can suffice for the experience of being in touch with others.
How tragic that we often choose our association accordingly; categorized them and missed the opportunity to know certain people and the chance to learn from them. Just because of our personal preferences according to how educated, wealthy and socially acclaimed in their stature, we quickly dismiss those who don’t measure-up to our standards. Our common notion was that we have no use for them because we are much better of; or we simply find them uninteresting. Yet everyone has a worth more than anyone of us can ever conceive about. Our perception of people can be so benign that we fail to learn something from them if only we get into the depths of their existence.
A simple person like Bob may not have thought that he made an impact beyond those closest to him. If only he knew. Perhaps by now, wherever he is, he knows that he did. Just like Jack, the protagonist in the novel The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom, in heaven he realized that no matter how forlorn or insignificant our own lives may have been, each of us had an impact not only to those closest to us but in the people remotely associated with us. We often don’t realize that even strangers may play a significant role in our life and vice versa. Each has a worth because each has a purpose for being. Thus, nobody passed this life in oblivion.
We did not gave-up the battle to sustain our operation soon after Bob’s death. In fact, we offered our succeeding efforts in his memory. For honor, we wouldn’t want to let him down and prove that he had not died in vain. However, our dampened spirits and the shattering reality we faced made any effort futile. At that point in my contemplation, I asked myself, “Perhaps, Bob was telling us something other than “Keep on”? Maybe, he was telling us something I said to him long before, that was “to move on”? Soon enough, other opportunities came to each of us left by Bob.
After three years of broadcast activities, loud cheers and music, 107.1 HOT FM finally fell silent. Yet, the memories that we had will endure. We moved on without any regret for not keeping the fight for the radio’s survival. Our experiences in running the station are integral to the person we are at present. For if not for our most cherished HOT FM we would not have found friendship among us.
Bob, our fallen comrade in battle has not died in vain. His life was a testament to courage and determination; hard work and dignity in labor; loyalty and dedication. His uncomplicated relationship with others had proved that he was a man of good character. He may had lead a regular and humble existence yet his simple life made a statement that integrity and respect are the essential traits that any man should strive for more than anything in this world. Afterall, when we leave this realm we leave nothing but our name and the memories that endure in the hearts of those we left behind.
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