THE SOLITARY EXPERIENCE
We came into this world alone and alone shall we depart from it. The solitary experience can be a very frightening thought. Being alone is perhaps one, if not the most, fearsome experience anyone could have. However, it is essential that we find a time to be alone. Some degree of solitude is needed for us to be rejuvenated from the stresses of hectic life. We each need time-off from the daily grind.
To take the time to be on your own is not such a bad idea. It does not make you bad because you take that time away from those most dear to you. It is not selfishness to want some time alone. It is not an anti-social behavior to want some time away from human contact. A precious time alone gives us a sense of solitude beneficial for our emotional growth.
Great achievements were born from the solitary experience. Buddha, in his solitary state, achieved nirvana or enlightenment. Mohammed was in his sole journey when Allah revealed himself. Hence, he established Islam. Undoubtedly, the great religions of the world were established by its respective founders as a result of their personal (e.g. solitary) encounter with the divine.
We read that the heroes and heroines in the Bible oftentimes are alone or in deep contemplation in their defining moment as part of God's plan. Jesus was alone in the dessert when he proved his strength of character by resisting the lure of temptation. He was alone praying in agony at the
The great thinkers and sages throughout the ages were mostly alone in their thoughts. The philosophies of Aristotle, Socrates and Confucius include the essential lessons to "know thy self" and the importance of solitude. The mystics, the saints and the spiritual masters of our time have taught us the value of meditation, inner reflection and to be at peace with one's self.
In the midst of the solitary experience, inventions and great ideas were born from the best minds of every age. Sir Isaac Newton, absorbed in self reverie in his garden, conjured up the ‘Theory of Gravity’ when he suddenly saw an apple dropped from its tree. Thomas Edison alone in his workshop made the world "brighter", literally. Dr. Stephen Hawkins, himself confined to a wheelchair with mechanical contraptions unimaginable, were able to come-up with the "Theory of Everything".
Creativity flows most freely during the solitary experience. The poets and authors; musicians and almost every artist know the value of time alone to work on a masterpiece. Think about Da Vinci, Dante, Beethoven, Longfellow, Rodin and so many others, it is redundant to reiterate at this point that the great works of art were conceived from the privacy of their thoughts.
Thus, the solitary experience could be a fruitful and productive process. We may not achieve greatly as those mentioned. However, it could be the best opportunity for anyone to discover potentials and possibilities otherwise, will just remain forever a seed of greatness.
There are endless options and possibilities in life. We each are often called to choose and pick what is best for us. When you find yourself at a crossroad, no other but yourself can fully understand the complexities behind every choice and decision you make. No matter what the consequences may be, you are solely responsible for every choice. Alone we each make wise or foolish decisions. How strange it is that others share our triumph while we are left alone to be blame for our mistakes. Oftentimes, you find yourself with others who had the audacity to claim your own personal success while totally disassociate with you in your failure. In these respect, the solitary experience becomes an impetus for learning, albeit the hard way.
You may find yourself alone in times of deep personal crisis such as relationship problem or when you are misunderstood. You may need a time to heal your brokenness by contemplating and gathering your thoughts, alone. Perhaps, the answers are just within you. So, you shut-off yourself from the noise of the world to listen to the voice within you. Thus, in the solitary experience you come to know yourself better. Now, you bring your better self into creating wiser relationships.
Likewise, the solitary experience can be therapeutic when life's chores become too weary. We need to give ourselves a break from the busy and sometimes crazy world around us. We owe it to ourselves. It is to take care of our psychological well-being. We cut ourselves from the maddening crowd to channel inner peace. To be in tune with ourselves is to better manage the stresses we encounter daily. It is good to enroll in yoga classes, attend meditative groups and other socially apt means to beat stress. But, personally, it will defeat the purpose of the solitary experience. We could get in touch with ourselves, or reward ourselves, by simply being alone with a book or just try to clear our thoughts of worries and cares, even for a moment. To get away alone does not necessarily mean going for a vacation somewhere, it could be simply a place near and comfortable, conducive enough for peace and quite. It could even be at home or in your own room.
Ultimately, we get most from our solitary experience by praying. In most times the best prayers are said alone. It is when prayer is truly said "from the heart", when there’s nobody to see or hear you; a moment you and the Divine--- alone.
The solitary experience can be devastating when associated with the feeling of loneliness; that feeling relative to rejection, abandonment, despair, grief. We all feel a degree of loneliness in our lifetime. Even the wealthy, the famous and those who we may think are immune to this malaise are not spared afterall. Remember the saying, "It is lonely at the top", refers to the well-achieved and the acclaimed among us as equally plagued by loneliness. Also, the solitary experience can be a torment to those who are forced into it.Such are the plight of the imprisoned in solitary confinement and the helplessly debilitated.
The feeling of loneliness can be a fleeting moment but the prolonged agony by it can be potentially harmful. Sometimes it can be a benign condition but in most cases the afflicted shows no signs of it. They maybe among the "party people", those who lead a seemingly "perfect" existence or anyone close to you but rather keep things to themselves. Anyone can feel lonely even among a crowd or surrounded by love ones.
Loneliness can be detrimental depending on how we respond to it. Insanity and suicide are likely the fate of those who weren't able to handle it. Then, loneliness can be contagious and ravages the bereaved. Written on a wall of a funeral home (I’m dead-serious, no pun intended, got this from there) says, “Pray that your loneliness inspire you into finding something to live for great enough to die for”. Apparently, it was meant to comfort the grieving. However, there is a message for each of us here. It tells us that in the midst of loneliness and desolation we should not forget that our first duty to life is to live, then find our meaning.
Hence, loneliness can be an opportunity for learning and growth. It is just a matter of looking at it from the opposite perspective. It carries with it the untold message of hope, to be strong, or to go on with more courage and determination. In this loneliness, as part of the solitary experience, becomes an antidote to itself.
Sooner or later, we may seek the solitary experience or it may find us. Whenever necessary, we seek it in the form of solitude for our own sake. While if it finds us in the form of loneliness, we must be willing to welcome and embrace it to discover and fully understand the meaning behind every tragedy.
An old saying said, "No man is an island". Indeed, it is almost impossible for us to survive bereft of human association. I don't suggest we live as hermits. Neither, I advocate solitary living to escape the "madness" of our existence. Afterall, the true joy of living comes from the sharing of one's self to others. Yet, we each need those selected moment to pause, be on our own in reflection, to connect with the Divine and recapture ourselves to better define our life. Hence, we come fully equipped to face the challenges of living. Finally, as we gained and become better from our solitary experience, we have more to share and give of ourselves to others; to the world.
DJ FLAME
August 8, 2009
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