My aunt, Aurora Quetulio Donadillo, passed-away yesterday March 25, 2011 at about 5:00 PM at the University of Sto. Tomas Hospital after succumbing from the complications of stroke. Together with her daughters, her sister (my mother) and other relatives, we were witnessed to her final moment. She was 66 years old.
How does a family confront grief when it had lost four of its member within the span of 15 months? Yet we accept the reality of death, there are no words enough to appease our hearts of the longing for those who have left us.
To loose someone dear is truly painful. We may try to rationalize death but with a heavy heart. We may accept death as a natural progression but the actual moment of parting make us feel abandoned, even betrayed. Regrets may slowly gnaw at the thought of those things we did but shouldn’t or those we didn’t do but should have in relation to the departed.
No one actually prepares for death. Or at least condition our emotions to how we will feel at the actual moment of lost. Common preparation may be in the form of the external necessities of dying such as memorial plan or insurance. Yet these may suffice for the nitty-gritty, these are never an answer to the primal need of those who mourn.
The words of Longfellow echoes the sentiments of those who experience the lost of a dearly departed: “For nothing can bring back the hours; of splendor in the grass nor the glory of the flowers. We shall grieve not but gather strength from what was left behind.” Indeed, the pain we feel is not from the resentment of death but the sadness that comes with the longing for the departed. It is the realization that we will never again share moments with those who have touched our lives with; that with their own life had shaped the person we are today.
Aunt Rory, as she was fondly called, will surely be missed. We, her nephews and nieces, as little kids refer to her as “Oyi”, a corruption of her name due to our juvenile utterance. I once was left to her care as an infant when my mother had to seek employment. Since she was then nursing her own daughter, my cousin born two months later than I, she had fed me. Years later, it had been an anecdote told at family gatherings at how I was as a suckling baby who devoured all her milk and left no more to my cousin because I awoken ahead. I may have felt embarrassed then but now I can only ponder with gratefulness at that moment when my survival depended on her.
I personally will be forever indebted to her for her helpful ways particularly in my most difficult time. She and her husband, uncle Ledo (died just last year), welcomed me into their home after my own father passed-away and I was then emotionally troubled. They’ve been instrumental for encouraging me to be strong so to be able to pick-up the broken pieces of my life.
I can go on and on about my memories of aunt Rory. It would however take so much to write about. Truly, words are not enough to tell about the experiences of a lifetime. We can only ponder them in our hearts and live through the lessons we had learned from them. With her passing, we will never be the same again. The familiar places, faces and moments we shared with her are altered forever. We will never have those like-moments ever again. And this realization pained us.
According to a common adage, “Time heals all wounds.” In this thought we take solace that through time the pain we feel now will ease away. Anyway, “Tomorrow is another day.” We will move on with greater courage and hope with the legacy of our dearly departed sustaining us in our own journey in this lifetime. We may have lost a beloved member but we have gained a more fortified spirit of solidarity as a family. Hence, this is what will withstand the test of time, whether through life or in death.
In behalf of aunt Rory’s daughters Atty. Patricia Quetulio Donadillo-Famaran and Grace Quetulio Donadillo; son-in-law Alfonso Famaran, M.D.; sisters Rosalina Quetulio-dela Cruz, Rufina D. Quetulio and Purisima Quetulio-Sabater; brothers Eduardo D. Quetulio and Jaime D. Quetulio; sisters-in-law Stefanie M. Quetulio and Lydia R. Quetulio; brother-in-law P/CINSP Reynaldo L. Sabater (Ret.); aunt Isabel Quetulio-Aquino; cousins, nieces and nephews; we as a family are grateful to those who lend moral support and extended whatever assistance to us from my aunt’s infirmary to her internment. May each of them be blessed in every way possible in this lifetime.
No comments:
Post a Comment