ROSES AND THORNS

The journey of our lives maybe likened to a rose. More often than not we experience the sting of the thorns than the beauty of the flower. Threading through life is like taking a walk in a thicket of roses. You must be careful not to get hurt. You must stay strong or else trample over the bushes.

The roses of our lives are the experiences of success, prosperity and happiness. While the thorns are the failures, hardships, disappointments and dilemmas we usually encounter as we go through our existence.

We can choose to face life head on with courage and determination. With every fall we have to get up and move on. With each experience of brokenness, we can pick up the fragments to build a better life. We must be strong enough to carry life’s burden and have faith.

THE THEATER

The world is a theater.

Our life is like a play.

Each has a role to play

The curtain opens

As we were born

We yearn and cry

We learn to laugh

The Unseen director

Conducts from afar

Guided by a script

Each has to perform

Thespians are challenged

To act their best

Rewarded by applause

Life continues

As if on a stage

We are audience

To each other

Looking for recognition

Until the curtain closes

We take our final bow.

15,330 DAYS ON EARTH… AND STILL COUNTING.

As of today, I have lived on this planet for 15,330 days. It seems so aged yet I feel that the days had just gone so swiftly. As I counted the days, I started to wonder in retrospect at how many of those days counted? How many of those had been spent worthwhile? How I wish I could go back to those days that I wasted away and do otherwise. How I long to have more of those days when I was still younger and vibrant than I am today.

But the yesterdays are gone forever and it is impossible to go back to undo what had transpired. My options are to either face the consequences of my recklessness then move-on or live in perpetual remorse for the rest of my days. I could spend each day counting as it goes by with uncertainty. Or make each day count towards a definite purpose. Either way shall be a choice I have to decide on, today.

Tomorrow is but a proposition. It offers no guarantee. Yet we can hope and still dream today about how much better tomorrow would be. It may require more effort or to take that extra mile to get to a goal today. But it would have been worth the effort knowing that making the days count would certainly bring today’s wishes come true tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Me! =)

MOVING TOWARDS A MORE EDUCATED CROWD

As summer vacation sets in the Philippines, every student looks forward to relaxation after toiling for almost ten months. But for those who have finally made it to graduation, it is a time to celebrate as a reward for accomplishing a goal.

Education is highly valued in every society. It is as necessary as the basic needs such as food, shelter and clothing. It open doors to opportunity and provides for a more sustainable living. It develops skills and hone talents to establish careers. It is the foundation of every job and career.

It is however not a about grades alone nor it is just acquiring a diploma. The real essence of education is when one learns and applies the lessons in the realms beyond the walls of the institution. It is what gives meaning to life. It enriches the soul. It teaches lessons that build character. It provides valuable knowledge to be able to better understand the world.

Acquiring an education has a way of uplifting our self-worth. It strengthens the foundation of the soul and equips us with the resources to hurdle the challenges we confront. More than anything else, education is experience. It sums-up and simulates varied experiences we need to learn to be able to apply in the real world.

It is unfortunate that in our society, we have taken for granted the true cause of education. We have failed to appreciate the core-value of the process involved in acquiring our diploma. We see it as a mere requirement to employment. We have further reduced it to status symbol as a passport to social mobility.

In a country with a fast-growing population and the number of unemployed increasing, personal aspirations are compromised just to have any job available that may only suffice for basic necessity. Personal fulfillment from education is a privilege of a few who acquire for the heck of it. Thus, the lack of education among Filipinos has ever been a burning political issue. Our educational system and the policies that govern it are major subjects of political upheaval ever since. It is indeed an issue representative of social injustice.

Graduation is not the end of education. In a way we remain students throughout our lifetime. We are in a never-ending process of learning. The world around us is ever changing and we have to keep-up with the times.

Perhaps it is high-time to re-evaluate how we perceive education. While it is essential in building a career or having a job, we should also realize that its purpose does not stop there. It should inspire in us to see its relevance beyond the economic gains and savor the wealth of experiences it provides to continually better our self and our relations. In these we will ultimately discover the wonder and excitement of a life moving towards a more educated crowd.

To the following,

Rebecca Rutchell Quetulio Austria, Ll. B.

Graduate, Bachelor of Laws

Lyceum of the Philippines, Makati City

Reynard Quetulio Sabater

Graduate, Bachelor of Science in Nursing

De La Salle University, Dasmariñas, Cavite

Matthew James O. Gonzales

Graduate, Bachelor of Science in Nursing

Saint Louie University, Baguio City

Amelita Flores

Graduate, Secondary Education

Pasay East High School

John Lawrence Sabater Medina

Graduate, Primary Education

Casa de San Miguel Montessori School

Bacoor, Cavite

Congratulations and welcome to a more educated crowd, batch 2011!

CONFRONTING GRIEF AS A FAMILY

My aunt, Aurora Quetulio Donadillo, passed-away yesterday March 25, 2011 at about 5:00 PM at the University of Sto. Tomas Hospital after succumbing from the complications of stroke. Together with her daughters, her sister (my mother) and other relatives, we were witnessed to her final moment. She was 66 years old.

How does a family confront grief when it had lost four of its member within the span of 15 months? Yet we accept the reality of death, there are no words enough to appease our hearts of the longing for those who have left us.

To loose someone dear is truly painful. We may try to rationalize death but with a heavy heart. We may accept death as a natural progression but the actual moment of parting make us feel abandoned, even betrayed. Regrets may slowly gnaw at the thought of those things we did but shouldn’t or those we didn’t do but should have in relation to the departed.

No one actually prepares for death. Or at least condition our emotions to how we will feel at the actual moment of lost. Common preparation may be in the form of the external necessities of dying such as memorial plan or insurance. Yet these may suffice for the nitty-gritty, these are never an answer to the primal need of those who mourn.

The words of Longfellow echoes the sentiments of those who experience the lost of a dearly departed: “For nothing can bring back the hours; of splendor in the grass nor the glory of the flowers. We shall grieve not but gather strength from what was left behind.” Indeed, the pain we feel is not from the resentment of death but the sadness that comes with the longing for the departed. It is the realization that we will never again share moments with those who have touched our lives with; that with their own life had shaped the person we are today.

Aunt Rory, as she was fondly called, will surely be missed. We, her nephews and nieces, as little kids refer to her as “Oyi”, a corruption of her name due to our juvenile utterance. I once was left to her care as an infant when my mother had to seek employment. Since she was then nursing her own daughter, my cousin born two months later than I, she had fed me. Years later, it had been an anecdote told at family gatherings at how I was as a suckling baby who devoured all her milk and left no more to my cousin because I awoken ahead. I may have felt embarrassed then but now I can only ponder with gratefulness at that moment when my survival depended on her.

I personally will be forever indebted to her for her helpful ways particularly in my most difficult time. She and her husband, uncle Ledo (died just last year), welcomed me into their home after my own father passed-away and I was then emotionally troubled. They’ve been instrumental for encouraging me to be strong so to be able to pick-up the broken pieces of my life.

I can go on and on about my memories of aunt Rory. It would however take so much to write about. Truly, words are not enough to tell about the experiences of a lifetime. We can only ponder them in our hearts and live through the lessons we had learned from them. With her passing, we will never be the same again. The familiar places, faces and moments we shared with her are altered forever. We will never have those like-moments ever again. And this realization pained us.

According to a common adage, “Time heals all wounds.” In this thought we take solace that through time the pain we feel now will ease away. Anyway, “Tomorrow is another day.” We will move on with greater courage and hope with the legacy of our dearly departed sustaining us in our own journey in this lifetime. We may have lost a beloved member but we have gained a more fortified spirit of solidarity as a family. Hence, this is what will withstand the test of time, whether through life or in death.

In behalf of aunt Rory’s daughters Atty. Patricia Quetulio Donadillo-Famaran and Grace Quetulio Donadillo; son-in-law Alfonso Famaran, M.D.; sisters Rosalina Quetulio-dela Cruz, Rufina D. Quetulio and Purisima Quetulio-Sabater; brothers Eduardo D. Quetulio and Jaime D. Quetulio; sisters-in-law Stefanie M. Quetulio and Lydia R. Quetulio; brother-in-law P/CINSP Reynaldo L. Sabater (Ret.); aunt Isabel Quetulio-Aquino; cousins, nieces and nephews; we as a family are grateful to those who lend moral support and extended whatever assistance to us from my aunt’s infirmary to her internment. May each of them be blessed in every way possible in this lifetime.

HOMESICK

For my cousin Ms. Grace Quetulio Donadillo

I breathe of London air
While riding on the tube
I clutch on my handbag
on my way to school

Amidst the British crowd
I stand anxious
My English resonates
Differently from them.

A sense of anticipation
My future lies ahead
From here I am
I see through a haze.

So soon I long for fishballs
I miss abodo and bagoong too
And the traffic in EDSA
I’m so used to hate

Mama’s voice
I hear from my celphone
I bear the pain of longing
To seek my fate.

FEBRUARY 14 IS SINGLES AWARENESS DAY

While most will cuddle-up and celebrate valentines’ day, there are among us who would bitterly stay at home, work as usual or sleep it over. It is that day in the year when singles are reminded loudly of their predicament amidst the silent gazes of lovers. It is the day when couples are in and singles are out.

To those who remain partner-less, valentines’ day is an ordinary day. But admit it or not, it is a special day. While it is not an official national holiday as mandated by law, its specialty lies on how it spontaneously affect people to activities that relates to love, or exactly speaking to romanticism. Whether you maybe single or not, yes, there is a romantic in all of us.

Single people would have a hard time ignoring valentines’ when it permeates the ambiance of the day. Thanks to the popular media spawned by commercial interest, it moved us to celebrate a feast themed with love and romance that had become a tradition.

It is ironic however that a celebration that has love for its theme makes others feel lonely and become more aware of how unfortunate it is to be single. While lovers are unabashed in their public display of affection, singles looked on with envy or pretend not to see. Amidst the crowd of couples, the singles stand-by the sidelines inconspicuous. In their anonymity they reminisce lost love and the heartaches while feeling the absurdity of the moment.

With all the triviality associated with the celebration of valentines’ day, we nonetheless can not dismiss that love itself is not trivial. Love afterall is the most powerful force in the universe. But we have trivialized it by limiting it to the concept of sex and consensual relationship. No wonder, motels and lodging places which cater privacy are fully-booked on this day.

I am not against lovers. Neither my intention to spoil the precious moments of those in love. Despite my criticism, I wanted to believe that valentines’ day is truly a celebration of love-- of true love. Love should not be exclusive. While romanticism is a valid expression of love between lovers/ couples, let us not forget that that love you share with each other has the potential to create love to a greater extent. Family, relatives, friends and even strangers who may feel alone can benefit from your love by sharing time, give an extra hand or just lend your presence in their desolation. Oftentimes, a simple but thoughtful act, a reassuring word or a brief moment of kindness can give hope to those who otherwise had lost meaning because of loneliness.

To those who are aware and bothered by their singleness, ask yourself why? Do you feel unloved or unlovable? Are you worthy of love? Are you capable of love? There are perhaps other questions that may come-up within the process. You may discover some inadequacy or latent issues about yourself that you have to finally confront to be able to receive love and give love back. For all it is worth, to know yourself and be aware of who you are may be the greatest discovery you will ever take. And love may very soon find its way to your heart.

Have a meaningful Valentines’ Day! ... or have a contented Singles' Awareness Day!

RIDDLE OF FRIENDSHIP

It began with God and my family,
Who truly knew me.
Yet everyone needs another
To be closed beyond kinship.

Her beauty was overwhelming
And I wanted to meet her.
I was impressed by his intelligence
And it would be wonderful to know him.

You came unexpectedly,
Yet I did wish for a friend
Neither did I asked you any favor
One day it just happened
You listened to me.

We journey together
Sometimes through contradictions
Yet nothing can break our bond
Through thick and thin we withstand.

Our paths crossed as destined,
Not by us, but by fate.

STAGEFRIGHT

Have you experienced talking in front of an audience? Did you feel so nervous that you stutter or had forgotten what to say? You may have felt the same in front of a crowd. Personally, I wonder if I’ll ever overcome this fright. This has been detrimental in the advancement of my chosen. Even with a healthy dose of self-esteem, I can’t help getting stage fright.

I remember in primary school how I managed to be brave everytime I was asked to go on stage to host programs or to deliver a creative piece in class. I may have appeared confident then but little do they know that I was scared out of my wits at those moments.

In high school, speech classes didn’t allay my fears even with much practice or coaching from teachers. Although I made good marks from those classes, I would rather not go through those experiences again.

A greater part to survive one’s study in the university is to be able to express oneself. Expressing my own thoughts in front of the class, much more reciting to answer a question of the professor (worst if I don’t know the answer) was harrowing experience for me. Because of these, I have not been the best student in college.

My post-grad (med proper) experience had made me more confident in dealing with stage fright maybe because I was more matured in handling the situation. Nonetheless the fright was still there. Medical case studies and clinical reports are to be discussed regularly over conferences handled by strict and scrutinizing doctors who were hanging on to every word and waits for any false statement.

The closest I got to overcoming stage fright was when I became a broadcaster in a community radio station. In reality I have not overcame it since talking on-air is different when you don’t actually see your audience. While a certain nervousness my attack me occasionally particularly when I have to interview a local personality, the fright dispels as we go through the broadcast.

Now, here I am with clammy hands and sweaty forehead trying to compose myself before I deliver a presentation on a proposed community project. I am ever hoping I won’t make a mistake, stutter or experience mental-bloc; to overcome stage fright or at least appear confident just like before.

LONGING

In solitary travel
My thoughts are with you
How to fill the void
You left in my heart.

I see it stand in a meadow
A tree fresh yet not in bloom
In its lonely stance
Insignificant it may seem

On either side of it
A forest and an orchard
Trees stand closed together
And bear much fruit.

You and I together then
Now so distantly apart
In the midst of a crowd
I stand alone.

A VALUABLE THOUGHT TO KEEP THROUGHOUT THE NEW YEAR

“If you don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender to security. It may mean giving up familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values we no longer believe in, relationships that have lost their meaning. As Dostoyevsky put it, ‘taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.’ The real fear should be of the opposite course.”

- Gail Sheehy, author