Fatherhood, admit it or not, has not been regarded as much as motherhood. Unlike fatherhood, the maternal role is the more nurturing side of parenthood that has a greater impact in the emotional growth of an individual. Yet a certain level of emotional expediency can be derived from fatherhood, it is not as intense compared to that received from the mother. While motherhood appeals more to the sublime nature, fatherhood is to the temporal and practical aspects of the bonds that form between parents and offspring. These are not to set aside or undermine the role of fathers. These are but how it is in the natural order of things. Undoubtedly, offspring will benefit more fully if they have both parents than just have one of the other. Ideally that is.
Fatherhood, by parental definition, is gender specific. However, the actual role and responsibility are beyond gender. We also have to consider the variation in culture, social class, norms and laws in delineating the role and responsibility of fathers in every society.
Perception of fatherhood is relative to one’s personal experience. One’s own relationship with the father (or the lack of it) becomes the basis for defining fatherhood for daughters scouting for potential mates or the standard any son has to live up to when he becomes a father himself. Good or bad perception will greatly depend on how each father has affected his children. The common basis for good fathering is the ability to secure his family. Security means his ability to protect and provide for them. This is the socially accepted norm or the tradition in many cultures. However, the shift to a more modern lifestyle has altered the way we do parenting. The family dynamics has evolved so greatly through the generations that we perceive fatherhood differently now than we conventionally do.
Despite the changes in the family dynamics, certain things remain and withstand the test of time, an essential word in defining fatherhood— responsibility. Yet both parents each have their responsibilities, the word becomes almost synonymous with the father since he, as already stated, provides for the family.
Fatherhood, by parental definition, is gender specific. However, the actual role and responsibility are beyond gender. We also have to consider the variation in culture, social class, norms and laws in delineating the role and responsibility of fathers in every society.
Perception of fatherhood is relative to one’s personal experience. One’s own relationship with the father (or the lack of it) becomes the basis for defining fatherhood for daughters scouting for potential mates or the standard any son has to live up to when he becomes a father himself. Good or bad perception will greatly depend on how each father has affected his children. The common basis for good fathering is the ability to secure his family. Security means his ability to protect and provide for them. This is the socially accepted norm or the tradition in many cultures. However, the shift to a more modern lifestyle has altered the way we do parenting. The family dynamics has evolved so greatly through the generations that we perceive fatherhood differently now than we conventionally do.
Despite the changes in the family dynamics, certain things remain and withstand the test of time, an essential word in defining fatherhood— responsibility. Yet both parents each have their responsibilities, the word becomes almost synonymous with the father since he, as already stated, provides for the family.
Reversal of gender roles is common nowadays. The greater empowerment of women paved the way for more of them having established careers as those of the men. Some of them actually achieve (and earn) more than the men. Other women meanwhile are forced to work due to economic necessity. They work to augment the family income with their spouses. But the worst is when they solely earn because they are single parent or with inept husband. In these circumstances, fatherhood is being re-defined. While it is hard enough for the male ego to admit the full equality or total subservience to their wives, they would rather accept the circumstances for the good of their family. Thus the term “house husband” has been coined to describe the male spouse who opted (or forced by necessity) to keep the home. In this case, the father has to fulfill the maternal duties to his children. Although not very commendable due to the cultural bias a father may experience as a consequence, I would say it isn’t so bad as long as he is doing his share in the family. And as long as he is brave enough to withstand the banter, frowns and criticism from others, he will have to do what he has to do. Otherwise, it is worst if he won’t do anything and be labeled irresponsible.
Single dads, on the other hand, are less prominent than single moms because of their comparative population. But I guess it is more challenging for the men to be single parent than women. Since men are less adept in emotional matters, this may take its toll on the productivity of the father and affect his ability to provide. Whether they are unmarried, widowed, divorced or separated, single-dads are unique symbols of masculinity. They are the new breed of fathers who with all the hardships and challenges are courageous enough to take on the responsibility.
Marital and non-marital status (e.g. “living in”), divorce, separation, neglect or abandonment is crucial in determining the success or failure of fatherhood. The social, ethical and legal circumstances determine how fatherhood shall be carried-out. Fathers in marital bliss are less likely to fail in their responsibility. Since marriage is a contractual commitment, legal and binding, a father is guaranteed civil liability if ever he does not comply with his responsibilities.
Single dads, on the other hand, are less prominent than single moms because of their comparative population. But I guess it is more challenging for the men to be single parent than women. Since men are less adept in emotional matters, this may take its toll on the productivity of the father and affect his ability to provide. Whether they are unmarried, widowed, divorced or separated, single-dads are unique symbols of masculinity. They are the new breed of fathers who with all the hardships and challenges are courageous enough to take on the responsibility.
Marital and non-marital status (e.g. “living in”), divorce, separation, neglect or abandonment is crucial in determining the success or failure of fatherhood. The social, ethical and legal circumstances determine how fatherhood shall be carried-out. Fathers in marital bliss are less likely to fail in their responsibility. Since marriage is a contractual commitment, legal and binding, a father is guaranteed civil liability if ever he does not comply with his responsibilities.
Divorce and separation can be traumatic more so on the children. In this case, fatherhood will have to adapt to a new set of circumstances. Depending whose spouse shall have the kids (which is often to the moms), it is expected that the father shall continue to shoulder the burden of providing for the kids. Yet the family set-up has been shaken, the father’s responsibility is unchanged.
Among non-marital couples, fathers go by a different set of rules. Although he may not have full legal right (depends on the country) as a father, his responsibilities however to his children are no less than their married counterparts. This is to guarantee that each child will have the right to get support from their father. But the law can only protect them for so long. Non-marital relations are very volatile. There is no legal bind that shall protect either party, to the detriment of the children. Abandonment and neglect of responsibility, mostly (but not exclusively) by the father, commonly results to these tragic circumstances.
Among non-marital couples, fathers go by a different set of rules. Although he may not have full legal right (depends on the country) as a father, his responsibilities however to his children are no less than their married counterparts. This is to guarantee that each child will have the right to get support from their father. But the law can only protect them for so long. Non-marital relations are very volatile. There is no legal bind that shall protect either party, to the detriment of the children. Abandonment and neglect of responsibility, mostly (but not exclusively) by the father, commonly results to these tragic circumstances.
Fatherhood is not strictly biological. Adoption is common options to childless couples and those single people qualified enough to become parents themselves. Orphanages and child welfare institutions have set stringent criteria in determining the standards for anyone to be given the right to adopt. Taken every necessary requirement in consideration, the capacity to earn and provide for the child tops the list of the requirements. While there are greater responsibility that any parent shall have to fulfill vital in child rearing, the parental responsibility of a father demands more in giving the child the best, according to his capability to provide shelter, food, healthcare and education.
Fatherhood is indeed a responsibility. To be a father, one has to be willing to take the burden of responsibility for lives other than oneself. Yet we talk of responsibility in terms of the father’s earning capacity and income, I discount not the other aspect of fatherhood which is less involved in the practical side of rearing their children such as character formation, life-values orientation, emotional support and spiritual growth. Besides, a father who is dedicated to just “bringing the bacon”, so to speak, but does not spend time with his children or does not participate in their upbringing can be potentially harmful and can result to dysfunctionality in the family. But still, I would have to say that providing for the family is foremost among the father’s responsibility. The best father however will do so not only as an obligatory act but as a loving response to the meaningful experience he gets in fulfilling his role.
Happy Father’s Day!
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