My cousin called me from her office ten months ago. She asked me if I could help her fellow attorney. I left awkward to learn that it was a marital problem. The assistance she needed was for me to surveillance her cheating husband. I think it was a pretty easy task; however, I didn’t want to do it even for a fee. I felt I was to intrude into somebody’s privacy. Not wanting to sound rude, I didn’t ask or suggest that she hire a private investigator for the job instead of me. In the next two hours, we talked about her predicament. It was evident that her husband has extramarital indiscretions. Yet, he had been truthful to her about that. So, what does she need me for such a task since it was known to her? Her answer was to help her finalize her decision to call it quits. If it was the case, what more proof will suffice to finally make a decision? I told her the usual encouragements to “give their selves a chance,” “don’t be drastic” and “try conceiving a baby”. I taunted her to look at things at a different perspective. But she was adamant. She wanted me to help her on this. Not my way but her way, of course. Reluctantly, I agreed not because I was eager but I wanted a way-out of it, fast. We exchange contact numbers to tell me when I shall begin my task. But twist of fate, a series of ailment afflicted me soon after our conversation. By the time she called me I was dealing with intestinal infection. Her timing couldn’t be so perfect when after a week she called again while I was down with the flu. Again, I had the perfect alibi. After recovering from the flu, I had an emergency dental procedure done. I had one molar extracted and a dental crown-fitted on the other. I was still in the midst of discomfort when she once again called me. Again, she wished me well. For almost six weeks I was in some pain or discomfort. Yet, I felt it was a blessing to be indisposed. After a few text and missed-calls, I came-up with reasons for me not to take the task she asked me. It was all I could manage to politely refuse her request. And she’s not dumb to know that soon enough she stopped connecting with me. I have not heard from her since. Pangs of guilt caught me for refusing to help her.
I was sympathetic to her plight yet I felt it was not right for me to meddle, even at a professional level. Besides, I know that even in her distraught, she wanted to save their marriage. For her to employ somebody to get further proof of her husband’s affair, the fact she already knew, was a delaying-tactic. She could very-well leave her husband instantly. Since they do not have kids makes their separation more bearable than if they do have one. Both have great careers going for them that it wouldn’t be hard to go on their separate ways. Still at their peak of productivity, the possibilities are bright for them individually. Each may even take a second chance at their personal life and enter new relationships. With all these weighted down, I am sure, what she wanted was her husband and make things work for them inspite her telling she wanted it over. If she did, she needs no further evidence. She could decide to leave him afterall he has been honest about his extramarital affair.
Amidst her calm demeanor, I could tell she was confused and just wanted some reassurance from others of her decision; that what she was to do is the right thing. But, is it what she truly wanted? Moreover, to talk about something so personal to a stranger may really indicate one’s state of anxiety. She was not hysterical but it was apparent that she was ambivalent about her wanting to pack-up and leave.
Recently, I learned from my cousin that the couple has adopted a baby girl and on their way to a new leash in family life. I didn’t regret not helping her in her proposed solution. It would have weighted much on my conscience if I had conspired with her plan. Supposing I did, it would have jeopardized them of the chance to live together and create a family. It would have robbed a child of an adoption that will give her love, care and a bright future.
At this point, I never regret putting her off and constantly making alibi to evade her. I don’t know what she thinks of me after all that. But, it doesn’t matter anymore. I know deep in my heart what I did was right. The complexity of the situation appeals to my sense of prudence not to be a cause of the couple’s break-up, which is likely if I participated. I bargained hard with my conscience to help or to abandon her in her plight. I chose the harsher option by not keeping my word and breaking the agreement to conspire with her at the cost of my integrity. Yet, it is a cheap price compared to the priceless value she earned by learning how to forgive, to manage hope in the midst of challenges, to have faith in the future and to find the fulfillment in love.
She risked loosing face by exposing her embarrassing predicament to me, a stranger reluctant to help her. Consequently, she found peace when she came into terms with herself and mend the broken pieces of her life to her alone is possible. As for me, I may have paid the price of loosing face in the process but, like her I am at peace with my conscience.
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